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Entry 11: Is it Real?

Posted by Sherri Viner on May 13, 2015 at 7:20 AM

Another sleepless night and I find myself back at my laptop. I’m not sure if it’s the pregnancy that’s keeping me awake or all the things juggling around in my head. Since I’ve started this blog I’ve also thrown myself into social media which is still very challenging for me at times. I find myself on and checking it all the time since it’s still so new to me. I’m still trying to figure out all the proper vernacular and protocols. Since I’ve put myself “on the line,” I will say that there are a lot of things out there that amuse me. One observation I have made is that people you know aren’t people you know? What I mean is that the person you know in real life is NOT the person you know on Facebook. Maybe it’s just me but people’s lives are not perfect all the time, are they? Getting involved in this virtual world I almost forget what I know to be true in real life because it is blurred by what I am presented on Facebook as the truth.


Let’s face it, pictures of smiling faces and puppy dogs gets way more attention than when someone shares something like I’m not really doing well or that they are struggling with something. I can understand that not everyone wants to share bad things. I get it; no one wants to be a Debbie Downer or to be around one. It’s no wonder though that people who have thousands of friends on Facebook still find their lives to be lonely and lacking. How can we really make meaningful connections with someone if all we see is the portion they want us to see? To me, the most significant connections are with people that have seen you at your worst who are cheering you on and celebrate with you during your moments of triumphs and happiness.


So this is where I find myself. I am sharing my experiences going through this pregnancy knowing that our son will have health challenges right out of the gate. It’s not good news but it’s the truth and this new truth is a part of me. So have I now become the Debbie Downer and not realized it? Has being truthful made me into something perceived as depressing? I wish I could say that I’m the same person as before we found out the bad news about Nicholas but that would be a lie. There are still many parts of me that are the same like that I love to laugh, watch movies, and enjoy listening to music as I try to cook new recipes. But to go through the experiences of this new chapter in our lives and not be changed in some way seems nearly impossible. So if I’m viewed as a downer, I don’t apologize for it because this is my real life, the real me.


I’m not the same person as I was a few months ago, but I wouldn’t change it if I could. I probably appreciate and have more gratitude of life’s moments now than I ever did before. The sound of Alexander’s laughter as we have our tickle sessions never sounded as sweet. The almost daily debates and arguments with James caused by his teenage know it all attitude frustrates me to no end, but I’m still thankful for it. The simple text message my husband sends that says I’m thinking of you and that I miss and love you, reminds me how lucky I am to have someone who is always walking along side me. And here’s to making real connections with people old and new, I’m more appreciative than ever.

 

Categories: May 2015

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