|Posted by Sherri Viner on September 27, 2017 at 6:55 AM|
It has been sooooo long since my last entry. I’ve often had the idea to sit down and take just a few minutes to sort out all of my million thoughts and organize them enough to write something but I always manage to find an excuse as to why that wasn’t going to happen that day. It has a lot to do with the fact that I realized that life is not a compilation of events for a highlight reel or best of series. Well, at least my life isn’t. Most days there seems nothing much to say because the day is void of profound significance and there isn’t necessarily a lesson to be learned in it. Most days are filled with the mundane, the grind, and the commons. Most days are just filled with the satisfaction of knowing that I made it through another day.
But then I started to think about it a bit more and what I’ve also come to realize is that the plain and ordinary is as insightful and as much of a blessing as the outwardly exciting. I have to admit it…I’ve found myself getting caught. I’ve let it slowly sneak in. All the things I professed to not doing. My use of social media has started to morph me into letting in doubts and second guessing myself. Without even knowing it, I was taking in a self-induced bombarded of comparisons and judgements. The perpetual stream of happy shiny people; I mean where the hell are the pictures of the completely disheveled? Or am I the only one with hair half in a binder as the other half has fallen out all raggedy like. Sporting the sweat pant or yoga pants outfit with a mismatching faded out t-shirt and zip up hoodie. It’d probably be easier to find a yeti standing in your backyard than to find a profile picture like that. Now that I think about it, I could even be the dang Yeti?!
The whole point of starting the social media accounts for me was to spread awareness of heterotaxy and CHDs. One of the ways we were going to do that was to chronical our personal journey with Nicholas. All parts of it - the good, the bad, the beautiful, and the ugly. I think we’ve done that for the most part on the NVHF Facebook page (facebook.com/vinerfamily) with updates. I’m not the best about posting though but try to make at least one per week and keep updated pictures of Nicholas. As I stated earlier though, I’ve let my fear of not being good enough hinder my ability to write and share my experiences. So with that said, I’m making a commitment. To write completely unfiltered, without reservations, be completely vulnerable to exposing the whole naked ugly truth of what is me and our journey. Even if the high of the day was getting thrown up on, even if the low of the day brings out the darkest of dark, even if that means I might really not have anything worth saying, and even if no one ever finds this to read. But on some off chance you are reading this, buckle in haha!
Categories: September 2017